Tag Archives: politics

Did I mention that GleN Beck sucks?

My father told me that when it comes to GleN Beck, maybe, maybe, I need to simmer down a little while I rant about him. I say SCREW YOU OLD MAN! No wait, that’s not right.

Ok, so I was thoughtful about today’s rant.

On Oct. 30, GleN was talking about how it would be a super bad thing to introduce another stimulus package. He decided to use the wonderful story telling tool of allegory, where he would tell a story about something non-related that has a much, much deeper meaning that can then be used to illustrate his first thought. Genius.

So, since he cannot just make up a story himself (not drunk enough to be that creative), he borrowed the lesson of the cinematic masterpiece, “Mission: Impossible III.”

You see, much like the adrenaline shot that Tom Cruise shot in the heart of Keri Russell in “Mission: Impossible III,” as is another stimulus. Rolling the video, we see said adrenaline shot, then cut to a scene a few minutes later when (SPOILER ALERT) Keri Russell drops dead.

“Those adrenaline shots will (takes deep breath while making sweeping arm movement) shock the system and it will come back in a little while,” GleN tells “America.” “But in the end, it doesn’t work. We all know what happens when the government tries to (punches self in heart) shoot an injection into the heart. It fails.”

 Wow. Great story GleN.

Of course, he never pointed out that the reason Keri Russell’s character died was not because of the adrenaline shot, but rather, because the evil genius Philip Seymour Hoffman planted a chip in her head that blew up.

I don’t mean to be overly knit-picky, but shouldn’t GleN draw proper parallels when using a movie to illustrate his point? Not to mention, medically speaking, a shot of adrenaline does not ultimately result in death. It doesn’t revive a person for a moment, but then kill them. Adrenaline shots, quite the opposite, save lives. In fact, a shot of adrenaline can help normalize blood pressure and make breathing easier in the event of anaphylactic shock. Further, a shot of adrenaline, if it were, say, administered incorrectly or unnecessarily, STILL is not dangerous. According to Dr. Edward J. Read, Jr., MD, assistant clinical professor in the Department of Emergency Medicine at the Virginia Commonwealth University School of Medicine:

“The consequence for the person receiving the unintentional injection is not usually too severe. The bigger risk may well be the ‘lost dose,’ the fact that the epinephrine is no longer available to administer properly to the person urgently needing it.”

It’s actually more dangerous to NOT have your adrenaline than to use it, even improperly!

This is just another in a long line of GleN’s irresponsible on-air dribble. It’s this kind of fear mongering that leaves people not just fearful, but grossly misinformed. I mean, if he must use a movie, why not a horror flick. You know, the screaming Jamie Lee Curtis (the stimulus) has defeated the evil Michael Myers (the sinking economy) but BAM! He’s not on the lawn anymore, he’s ALIVE (the economy is still sinking!). See how I did that off the top of my head? And I don’t even have a team of producers or a nasty cocaine habit to help me think.

GleN. It is completely on target to question government spending. I mean seriously, we’re bleeding money. Why you refuse to do this in either a responsible or a rational or an honest manner is beyond me.

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The sky is falling…

I certainly am not the only person irritated with the media these days. I think it is only fair to note that I am clearly driven stark raving mad by pretty much every talking head on FOX who opens up his or her mouth, and I am otherwise ok with MSNBC. But across the board, it seems pretty obvious that everyone has lost perspective.

The impossibly squinty-eyed Sean Hannity begins his radio show every day with the following voiceover:

AMERICA UNDER SEIGE!

CONSERVATISM IN EXILE!

On FOX this afternoon, a promo for an upcoming show with Bret Baier, who has the absolute hardest helmet head hair this side of Dan Rather circa 1970: “We will explain the latest White House ATTACK on FOX news,” Baier announced.

And of course, my favorite ex-junkie, GleN Beck:

Regarding healthcare:

“Should we still continue to put up with the same old politicians who care about their seats and their power and their titles that they’ll sell you and your children into slavery in order to do special favors for their cronies.”

Regarding OnStar, after they created a system in which they can turn off a car after being informed by the police that the car has been stolen:

“Fantastic technology, if you trust the people whose hands are controlling that technology. OnStar is a private industry, but their client is General Motors… Not technology to be feared, not a company at this point to be feared. But we don’t seem to be going in the right direction with our government. Our government is starting to consume and control everything. Do you really want the United States government to be able to… know where you are in your car all the time, also be able to have a microphone in your car? Do you believe this government has your children’s best interest at heart?… Do you think that history will repeat itself and we will go the way of the former Soviet Union?… We’re going to have to declare martial law, but it’s for the good of the country, because the country is falling apart, do you think that’s a possibility?… Why do we trust them with listening and tracking devices and a device that will turn your car off?

Regarding Obama:

“President Obama wants to banish everybody’s opinion into the wilderness.”

 These are just quotes from TODAY. I didn’t have to search around and do research or anything. I just had to listen and watch.

 Under seige. Exile. Attack. Sell your children into slavery. Consume and control everything. Martial law. Tracking devices in your car. Banishing your opinion into the wilderness.

Look, I am a writer. I know that if your words are boring, people won’t bother to listen. Peppering your language, coloring your words, telling a story as vividly as possible, using strong and direct language, painting a picture… these are all goals of the writer, and the best way to get people to tune in and hear you. And I won’t pretend that my buddies at MSNBC don’t engage in this. Olbermann is so theatrical, all he’s missing is a white half-mask and a woman to covet. Ed Schultz practically spits all over the camera lens, he gets so worked up. But we’re talking about FOX here, and their incendiary language that rains all over every broadcast that their commentators host.

Think about people who actually are “under seige.” I think about it in local terms, the children at Fenger High School in Chicago. Children who have lost their neighborhoods to gangs, children who cannot play in their own yards without the risk of being shot, children who get beaten to death in the street just walking home. Their neighborhoods are under seige.

Think about exile. Actually being rejected from your own country. Actually having your voice silenced. Does anyone else sense the irony (or dare I say, idiocy) of exercising your very profitable freedom of speech to announce that you are in “exile?”

Attack. War. I cannot believe that FOX, self-proclaimed patriots who claim to have cornered the market on the right way to look out for our soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, would have such an extreme lack of decency as to draw a parallel between actual war and the fact that the President of the United States has decided not to talk to FOX news. Thousands of US Soldiers and Iraqi citizens — dead. THAT is a war. There is no war being waged here. Just the president not wanting to talk to a single network. The use of the term “war” is offensive and vile.

I think you get my picture here. FOX uses the most charged up language they can to describe situations that do not merit it. It is a legitimate question to ask how the government plans to pay for health care. But it then smacks down that legitimacy when you suggest that the government will only pay for health care by selling your children into slavery. They’re following you. They’re tracking your movements. Martial law is coming as the President banishes your opinions to the wilderness. It is, plain and simple, fear mongering. And FOX is up to their elbows in it.

I wish that the next time GleN Beck mentioned the ATTACKS that the White House has launched on FOX, that someone could point out a real attack to him. This week, the body of 7-year-old Somer Thompson was found in Georgia. She was abducted, killed and tossed into a garbage truck, where her body was transported across state lines and dropped into a landfill like everyday trash. Somer was attacked. FOX isn’t even being picked on.

While I am done with that part of the post, I feel like I cannot talk about GleN Beck without mentioning how incredibly irresponsible he is with his bizarre amount of power over those who need him to tell them what to think. On Oct. 22, Beck threw his support behind a candidate for a special election taking place in New York. Beck endorsed David Hoffman, running to fill a House seat in New York District 23 vacated when Republican Representative John McHugh was named Secretary of the Army by President Obama. Beck compared candidates Hoffman, Dede Scozzafava and Bill Owens by comparing three types of modern skyscrapers. The exercise was futile at best, moronic and infantile at worst, and amounted to Beck pointing at a photo of Hoffman and declaring that he was the best candidate. Why? Because, according to Beck, the best candidate for this particular office was the man who was not “sleek and manufactured.”

“That’s the perfect candidate to me,” Beck announced, still pointing at Hoffman. He then added quickly, “I don’t really know anything about this guy, so this is just an example.”

I don’t live in New York. I have no idea who the best candidate is. But I certainly know better than to point at one of them on national television and announce he is the best candidate, and follow it up by admitting I know nothing about him. This is representative of GleN Beck — a man who admittedly does not know what he’s talking about, but it sure isn’t going to stop him from saying it anyway.

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Dear GleN Beck: Grow a Pair

GleN Beck is a moron.

I try and watch him regularly, not to make myself crazy, but so that when I make my assessment of him, it’s real. It’s based on actual knowledge, not blog quips and short sound bites. And based on all I’ve gathered, plus the fact that I am fabulously smart, I can honestly say — the man is a moron.

Today he spent 45 minutes talking about… something. Communism? Big bad Obama. Something. Most of the time he kept waving around a fairly new copy of Hitler’s “Mein Kemph” and talking about how bad it was. I kept thinking, “dude, why did you BUY a copy of that? You spent MONEY on Hitler’s book.” Moron.

But then came the goods. GleN Beck showed some old commercials that remind him of the “simpler” times of America. You know, Mean Joe Green takes a kid’s Coke, and it’s so delicious, he is suddenly NOT Mean Joe Green. He’s NICE Joe Green. So nice he throws his sweaty, blood-stained jersey right in the kid’s face. Then he shows an old Kodak commercial, as families gather on 8 mm film to Paul Anka singing about having the time of your life (not to be confused with when Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey had the time of THEIR lives, because no one puts Baby in the corner).

Then GleN begins:

“America has never been a perfect place, but we used to be united.”

I nearly spit out my Diet Pepsi as Mr. Beck, the man who confronts the White House daily, speaks about the lack of unity in the country. But it got better:

“If you could go back to those simpler times when people were together, you’d do it in a heartbeat, wouldn’t you? I’d be tempted to belive them. But he truth is…”

Wait…. why is GleN stopping? What is he… OH MY GOD HE’S CRYING!

“No politician can take you there, they can only take you farther from there. Only common sense and hard work and only the honest truth or better yet the hard reality. You know…”

Big pause as the waterworks flow.

“America, we’ve been at a party that we weren’t supposed to be at. The two kids that were driving us there, they said don’t worry, nothing’s going to happen, you’re not going to get caught. And you had a moment there where you wanted to obey your parents and you were like, ok. Because everybody’s doing it. Then you were there, they promised you that you were going to leave by midnight, they promised you that. And now it’s almost two o’clock and you find yourself at a party where you haven’t really done anything but you smell like pot, your friends spilled beer all over you, you’re out way past curfew, and you don’t know what to do anymore, you’re going to get your butt kicked. We’re facing the same choice now. Remember when our parents said to us, just come home and tell us the truth. We’ll get through this. Look, don’t get me wrong, it’s not going to hurt Dad more than it hurt you, at least in the short run. It is going to stink when we all have to stay home on a Saturday night because we’re financially grounded. But in the long run, you will look at your children…”

Big, quivering lip, crocodile tears.

“…and you will tell them, that you hated it, you hated the things that you did at the time because they were hard, but your Dad was right, and you’re glad you did it. And your children will have respect for what you did. You have to start making the hard choices now.”

Ok. Wuss boy totally lost me. Let’s see. The Obama administration = bad kids with pot and beer. GleN Beck = kid who swears he didn’t have any pot and beer but got busted, it’s not mine I swear, it’s Obama’s. And the lesson here is apparently, if you tell your kids that you did NOT take Obama’s pot and beer, then we shall surely return to a time when Mean Joe Green is made nice via Coca-Cola and 8 mm films come back into style.

Additionally, GleN Beck basically said that you absolutely cannot trust elected officials, since they can only take you farther from the good times. And apparently, it’s all cause to weep. So to recap.

  • Politicians = trying to rob you of your happiness
  • Happiness = Mean Joe Green taking your kid’s Coke
  • Obama = Pot smoking, beer drinking teenager
  • GleN Beck = Kid who smells like beer and pot but it’s Obama’s I swear!
  • Getting busted by parents for partying with Obama = only way to make your children love you
  • Crying = What you do when you are having a break with reality on national television

Dude. I have NO IDEA what that moron was just talking about. Or why it turned him  into a blubbering little girl. Or why he even has a show. But serioulsy, GleN, look into balls. I invite you to grow a pair.

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Peace out

I was awake pretty early this morning, unable to sleep. Jim has been out of town for a few days, so I let George sleep in my bed, and let me tell you, a tiny little 3-year-old boy can overtake a king size bed in a matter of seconds. So when the kicking would not subside, I relented, allowed being awake to take over, and snapped on the television set. I was thinking, hey, maybe I’ll get to see that moon bombing thing everyone has been talking about.

But instead, one miss Savannah Gutherie of MSNBC told me that SURPRISE! President Obama was the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

nobel-prize

So what is the Nobel prize anyway?

Well, in 1896, one Mr. Alfred Nobel dropped dead (don’t worry, he was old). In life, Mr. Nobel was a chemist and engineer, and an extremely successful manufacturer of armory equipment. He even invented dynamite, something that J.J. Walker was always happy about.

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Mr. Nobel was basically a bizillionaire who made his fortune manufacturing ways to kill people. Eight years prior to his death, a newspaper had incorrectly gotten wind that he had died, and printed an obituary for the still kicking Mr. Nobel, belittling him for his life’s work and referring to him as “the merchant of death.” This apparently struck a nerve with Alfred. So when he finally did go to that big dynamite factory in the sky, he left the bulk of his fortune — $250 million — to the creation of the Nobel Prizes. Those prizes are awarded by the Nobel Foundation, based out of Mr. Nobel’s homeland of Sweden. Each year for the past 108 years, prizes have been awarded for achievements in physics, chemistry, physiology/medicine, literature and, of course, for peace. There’s also a prize for economics, which is apparently not specifically a Nobel Prize but a prize in honor of Alfred Nobel, and when it was established, I guess it caused some grief. But I digress.

According to the Nobel Foundation, “the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded for work in a wide range of fields including advocacy of human rights, mediation of international conflicts, and arms control.” President Obama was awarded this prestigious prize “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples.”

Of course, that leaves one big old question — does he really deserve it? I mean, when it comes to Barack Obama, I am definitely a fan. I get his e-mails, I donated to his campaign, and I seriously have his photo hanging on my fridge. But the cutoff date for submitting nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize was just two weeks after the President was sworn in to office. As the fine folks at Saturday Night Live told us last week, Mr. Obama hasn’t really gotten a lot done in his first nine months in office. So what could he possibly have done in his first two weeks to even be considered a nominee? Really? I mean, he sure made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but that’s not exactly the criteria for a prize that gives you world-wide acclaim, a fancy diploma, a pretty medal and, of course, a cash prize of roughly a half-million U.S. dollars.

It seems, however, that for the President, this award was granted not for what he has done, but for what he can hopefully do. Essentially, he was given a Nobel Peace Prize because of his campaign promises. That doesn’t sound good. In fact, after the prize was announced, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who won the prize himself in 1984, said this:

“It’s an award coming near the beginning of the first term of office of a relatively young president that anticipates an even greater contribution towards making our world a safer place for all. It is an award that speaks to the promise of President Obama’s message of hope.”

Holy crap. No pressure, dude.

Of course, plenty of people disagree with the award, starting with the lovelies at the Fox Nation, and continuing, frankly, world wide. It’s not a Republican vs. Democrat thing. Many people of many backgrounds feel that the award was based on an idea of what Obama can do, as opposed to what he has done, which seems to be the purpose of the award. I mean, lots of people “promote” peace. Accomplishing it is a whole different issue.

I worry that this will put an enormous amount of pressure on this President. That in the future, the likes of GleN Beck and Rush Limbaugh and the squinty-eyed Sean Hannity (have I mentioned how much I want to have his Irish heritage revoked — he so does not deserve it) will use it non-stop. Every time something is NOT done, we will hear, “hey, where’s the PEACE PRIZE winner now?” Every time Israel and Palestine toss bombs at each other, Obama will be scrutinized for not “promoting peace” as his prize suggested he could. Afghanistan. Iraq. Iran. The Taliban. Osama bin Laden. Obama’s rivals have a brand new, built-in way to analyze and audit his performance — the man has a Nobel Peace Prize. He should be doing better, they’ll say.

Obama himself was surprised and felt undeserving of the award.

“I will accept this award as a call to action, a call for all nations to confront the common challenges of the 21st century,” Obama said.

Nice try buddy, passing it on as a “world wide” award. But it’s yours. You have to carry it. You can’t pass it along.

I hope he does well. I want him to do well. I have faith that he will do well, yet still, I am worried. I cannot stand the nonstop ill-will wished upon this man, and I hate that this is just an invitation for more.

One thing’s for sure — it sure did eclipse the news that NASA shot the moon this morning.

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Why I support the Chicago Olympic bid

My brother Tommy posted recently on his blog why he hopes that the city of Chicago is awarded the 2016 Olympic Games. Among his reasons for supporting the games, he talked about benefits to the city’s infrastructure, the increase of revenue, a boost to the local job market, and of course, the “cool factor” of saying, “Check it out, the OLYMPICS are here! Woooooooooo hooooo!” I agree with my salt and pepper haired sibling. I like the idea.

But, I have one real reason, one reason much stronger than any my brother lists, for why I support the Olympics in Chicago. I want it for one simple reason : GleN Beck hates the idea.

GleN Beck was on his usual hateful tirade today, and he won’t shut up about Chicago. I mean really, Republicans have been torching Chicago worse than Mrs. O’Leary’s cow did ever since Obama became a viable candidate for the presidency. Chicago politics and the Chicago machine and that big bad corrupt CHICAGO. As a gal who never lived IN the city, but grew up here in Chicagoland, I am sick to death of it. Why do we sit back and take it when GleN Beck, a repugnant radio DJ who once ridiculed the wife of a friend ON THE AIR because she had a miscarriage, the man who baselessly insists that President Obama is a racist who has a “deep seated hatred for white people” (a quip that left his advertisers running for cover as they yanked their wares off his show), the man who boasted about his awesome 9-12 project and how thousands of people need to come to Washington, DC to participate, but didn’t actually show up himself,  looks down his ugly little nose at us, the people of greater Chicagoland? WHY?

Today, GleN spent an ungodly amount of time whining about the President making an appearance in Denmark to push for the Olympics to take place in Chicago. See, GleN apparently hates the Olympics. And for some reason, when describing the dumb old Olympic games, he felt it was necessary to use his Kermit the Frog voice, which was disturbing at best. So he goes on about all the bad stuff about Chicago and poverty and crime. I don’t know that I see this as a valid argument, when we are talking about a city of 3 million people. Of course there is poverty and crime. But then GleN said, “They’re also called Second City. Residents there experience mental anguish over constantly being told that they are second best.”

Dude. F-YOU.

Then he went through some non-sensical nonsense about how all the potential host cities have some sort of problem, something… I don’t know, he totally lost me. There was laughing and weird-ness and more Kermit the Frog impersonations. Then he abruptly tossed to a commercial, only to come back and say, “Why is this a priority?” Because when Bush spent 4 days just watching the Olympics in 2008, or went golfing or hunting or fishing at any time, there were no other “priorities.”

“Yesterday we told you about how bringing the Olympics to Chicago is potentially a corrupt political move, hmmm, you think,” GleN said, without explaining why or how the Olympic bid was potentially corrupt. To support his claim, he brought in Michelle Malkin, the pundit who claimed that ABC reported 1.5 to 2 million people at the 9-12 party in Washington DC, a false claim that ABC had to correct multiple times, the woman who printed the names, e-mails and phone numbers of student protestors, prompting people to deliver death threats to those students, and the woman who, in my opinion, is kinda butt ugly, to support his claims that somehow, some way, President Obama will have his pockets personally lined with the hard earned dollars of Chicago tax-payers should the Olympics be played in Chicago in 2016. She referred to Chicago as a “basket case,” her snaggle tooth catching over her impossibly large and faux inflated bottom lip. She also forgot to put the proper amount of makeup on her ugly face, and sheesh… no one should have to look at that, not even Republicans. Yitch.

GleN then went on about how there was sooooooo much corruption on the Olympics in Salt Lake City, and how Mitt Romney fixed it all. Um, idiot? Is GleN suggesting that Daley or Obama or someone has paid off members of the International Olympic Committee, because that is quite a claim. All Mitt Romney had to do in Salt Lake City was NOT try and bribe anyone. He didn’t fix a problem, he cleaned up a mess. He was a venture capitalist. Cleaning up messes was his job. He’s not a hero. It’s not like he didn’t get handsomely paid.

Then GleN and the ugly one and some guy in a pink shirt were going on about how EVERYONE IS CONNECTED! All these Chicago people are CONNECTED TO OBAMA! Hey shit-for-brains — they are all from Chicago, why the hell would they NOT know each other? WTF? Seriously, WTF?

Then GleN was nice enough to play the video of Derrion Albert being beaten to death on the streets of Chicago. Wasn’t that nice of GleN to play that video on the air… AGAIN? I’m sure Derrion’s mother really appreciates GleN using the murder of her son for his political propaganda purposes. Nice. His point? Apparently, if you bring you children to Chicago, they will be murdered on the street. Heck, Obama will probably be holding the 2X4 that your kid gets struck with. ROLL THE TAPE AGAIN!

GleN, get the hell away from my city. I’m tired to death of “journalists” who *puffy heart* New York and DC and Los Angles and Boston, then wag their fingers at Chicago when they don’t know the first thing about this place. Shut up. If you hate Chicago so much, then stay away. We can take care of ourselves just fine and dandy, and we certainly don’t need YOU to point out what WE may be doing wrong. If the President wants to say to the IOC, hey, my hometown is a good place, then he should. I would expect no less out of any other president, past or future.

GleN, there are all sorts of tea-bagging townhallers that have no ability to compose their own original thought, and they need you to tell them what to think. Please. Pretty please. Go the hell away.

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GleN Beck has lost his diddy mind

I’d like to start by saying that I don’t like the way Glenn Beck spells his name. I realize he did not choose the name. But for reasons I cannot fully understand myself, I am opposed to the second, unnecessary consonant. It’s probably only because I don’t like him, and not an actual aversion to the double-N. But I refuse to use it.

So, moving on. GleN Beck has lost his diddy mind.

You know what, forget the actual politics of the country at this moment. Forget the right and the left, forget liberals and conservatives, Michael Moore and Michelle Malkin, Keith Olbermann and Bill O’Reilly, Rachel Maddow and Ann Coulter, Chris Matthews and GleN Beck. Put that all aside for a minute, we can all agree that we disagree.

But here is what GleN said today, Sept. 16:

“Wow… Can I tell you something? (head shake) Is there a single American, a single American (using hand gesture) that wants to see harm come to any member of Congress or the President of the United States, at any time? A single American? (head shake) This is outrageous to say.”

He was complaining about a report on MSNBC, where my girlfriend Contessa Brewer spoke about white people bringing guns to a rally where the President was. GleN points out that the video showed one of the men with a gun strapped to his chest, and that man happened to be black. He keeps talking about how MSNBC “doctored” the video by not showing the man was black. Of course, I distinctly remember seeing that particular video, and noting that my sweetheart was in fact talking about whites with guns when the picture was a black man with a gun. I don’t think the fabulous Miss Contessa was suggesting that ONLY white people were showing up with guns, just pointing out that it was happening. If nothing else, it would have been worth her pointing out that some of those carrying guns were of many different backgrounds and cultures, not just white dudes. And she didn’t, and that’s too bad.

But GleN has a bigger woody for this one than he does for ACORN. And he’s just appalled that my raven haired gal pal would SUGGEST that someone would even THINK to harm the President.

Dude. Whatever GleN is drinking, I want some. Make it a double.

The Secret Service had to investigate more than 500 death threats against Obama last November. GleN apparently has forgotten the cheers of “kill him” screamed out at rallies where Sarah Palin denounced the then-candidate as someone who “pals around with terrorists.” Recent reports indicate that death threats against the president have increased by 400 percent.

And of course, there’s the lovlies over at the Fox Nation, the site put up and allegedly “moderated” by Fox, and some of their unsettling quotes:

  • God I would love to use him as target practice – posted by “Bluesteel”
  • Hope it’s your last – posted by “be,” on Obama’s birthday
  • I hope he gets an exploding cake!! – also posted by “be”
  • And the Koran ain’t thick enough to stop a .308 round…be careful what you hide behind – posted by “Texas Hippy”

Obama’s not alone. Bush faced numerous threats as well. People called him a terrorist, suggested HE be bombed, HIS home be destroyed with him in it.

Same goes for every President down the line. Whoever is in office, someone, somewhere, wants them dead. Not to mention what GleN has clearly forgotten — JFK was assassinated. RFK was assassinated. Ford was shot at. Reagan was shot.

Of course there are Americans who want to see members of Congress and The President of the United States dead. What a terribly ignorant thing to say. And to do so with such fervor, with the dramatic sighs and shrugs and crazy “can you even believe it” eyes.

What the hell is wrong with GleN Beck? And someone, find his diddy mind and return it.

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Truth and consequences

So there we are, sitting in church. No seriously. We belong to a church. Me. And Jim. We go to church. No really. This is new for me, newer for Jim, and unfortunately and much to my own surprise, he is far more open to it than I am.

So there we are, sitting in church, and much as I did back in my grade school days at St. James, I found myself sitting in church and being as judgy as possible. If you could peek inside my mind, my thought process was something like this:

Why is that woman wearing that SHIRT? Lady, that haircut is doing you no favors. Maybe next time they could get less tone deaf people in the choir. That kid needs to be smacked… oh man, his Dad shouldn’t hit him so hard in church! Man, I want a taco. You don’t have to be rich, to be my girl, you don’t have to be coooool, to rule my world….

Yeah, that weekly time of reflection… I generally use it to daydream and give random strangers the stink eye. Godly? Not so much, I guess. But I do tend to pay attention from time to time. My loss of ability to pay attention usually happens when the choir is on the fifth verse of a song that was too long at verse number two — and you just KNOW they’re going to hit the chorus again, twice. For some reason, I revert to the attention span of a first grader when this happens.

But yesterday, we got to the second reading, and it came from James. It compared the tongue to the rudder of a ship, that a ship needs huge sails and strong winds to move, but the tiny little rudder is what actually guides it. Much the same way as you have this body and this life… but how you speak determines where you go. “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing,” the passage read.

Naturally, I found the reading very political. It immediately made me think of Mr. Joe Wilson and his shout-out at the President the other day.

“YOU LIE!”

It made me think of the moral superiority that people in this country believe they have versus the rest of the world. It made me think of Keith Olbermann referring to Mr. Wilson as “stupid,” and of Glen Beck referring to the President as a “racist.” It made me think of a little girl committing suicide because a grown woman, disguising herself as a teen boy, was cruel to her on Facebook. It made me think of the kid we harassed mercilessly at St. James. It made me think of Rush Limbaugh’s nastiness toward the President, and Al Franken’s nastiness at Rush Limbaugh.

Naturally, there are some people who rip apart others, and I think, “right on.” And at other times, I think, “well, how dare them!” But while I found myself agreeing with the passage, that it “ought not be so” that we curse some and bless others with the same tongue, I also thought, it’s impossible NOT to. It’s impossible not to curse those who hurt you, and praise those who help you. It’s impossible at least for me.

I considered that maybe I was taking the passage too seriously, too literally. That it wasn’t about forcing us to NOT speak badly, to NOT be judgy, but instead, to think about it before we speak, because our words have consequences. Like, say, if you utter out nastiness at the President before thinking about it, suddenly your opponent has an additional $1 million in his campaign fund. Or when you call the President a racist, your advertisers don’t like you so much.

But then again, when you spout hate against the President every day, sometimes you are rewarded with a huge audience and an eight-figure checking account. And when you write books calling someone a “big fat idiot” in the title, you are sometimes rewarded with a seat in the United States Senate.

So what gives? This is the kind of thing I struggle with as we return to church these days, is understanding the lessons brought forward. I hate to be so cynical, but sometimes I think, get real already. It’s naive to think we can all just be nice to each other. It’s just not going to happen.

But I’ll continue to sit in church on Sunday. Not because I am looking for absolution. But hopefully, I’ll start taking the lessons to heart, and hear them as a way to live rather than as a political commentary. I’ll try to listen to the whole thing, rather than get lost in Prince songs and dreams of Taco Bell swirling around my head. I’ll try to ignore the fashion choices of the woman sitting in front of me.

I guess we’ll just see where this goes.

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