Working those mom skills

I have been super busy these days.

The truth of it is, there is an election coming up. And while I have no idea which of the candidates in my own town who are best suited for the job, it’s the election in the fabulous city that I cover for the local newspaper that is keeping me stressed and excited all at once. Tuesday isn’t just election day, it’s the day we lay out the paper. So my usual one-week deadline has dissipated, and it’s like I’m back in big news-land, where I have to get my reporting as accurate and quickly as possible.

Why this has me so wound up I do not know, it’s not like I cannot handle it. But I think part of the issue is the fact that while the election has been smooth sailing for months, it appears that in the last three weeks or so, someone trucked in a big bucket of mud and all the candidates picked up their best shovels and started tossing. It’s typical, on one hand, but still creates a lot of excess news for me. When it comes to small town news, there is a fine line between news and gossip. And I am standing on it like it’s a freakishly thin tightrope.

Anyway, it’s my preparations for next week that have turned me into the mother of the year. Because you know what? It’s spring break, and Wii is a good babysitter. Jim pointed out that there is a picture of Anakin Skywalker from the new Lego Star Wars game burned into the TV screen. I replied by telling him off. He did not like that.

Today, I let them play while I was doing some other various work, when I suddenly realized that the smell in the room was, in fact, me. So I hopped in the shower, and when I got out, I realized that the one really cute part of my body — my toes — needed some work. So for the first time since last summer, I slapped a coat of paint on my little piggies. Instant cuteness. If it wasn’t so chilly, I’d put sandals on.

So I head down to where the boys were being babysat by Wii again. The conversation went like this:

Hank: “Man, do we have to turn it off already?”

Me: “No. Look at my toes.”

Hank, not looking at my toes: “Looks good.”

Me: “You didn’t even LOOK, look at my toes!”

Hank, glancing down briefly: “Yeah, looks good.”

Me: “YOU ARE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THEM! Don’t they look cute?”

George: “They look BEAUTIFUL mom!”

Me: “See, that’s how you answer! Who’s winning the favorite son award today?”

Hank: “They look good.”

And that’s how you torture your kids.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Working those mom skills

  1. Alicia Lenart

    You need a “rent-a-daughter”. Not only would they oo and ah appropriately, they’d tell you you needed to add a coat of glitter polish as well- and then do it to their toes too. I know you’ve got nieces, go ahead, rent one. My aunt, who was/is childless (by choice mind you, and dont think she wont tell anyone including small children how smart that decision of hers was, lol), used to rent me a couple times a year. She’d take me to a show, out to eat, for coffee when I was still in kindergarten, then return me and go home to her pack of tiny and excessively yappy dogs (which were MUCH less annoying than a kid or two, I’m sure of it).
    Having two daughters I hate nail polish. I end up having to do 40 digits, times two coats, plus my toes with two coats (I dont do my fingernails… dont ask.) so we’re talking 100 coats of polish, right? Pain in the ass, I’m tellin ya.

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