Jim is in purchasing.
Wait, wait, wait, wake up. It’s not that boring.
As a purchasing manager, Jim basically bargains for a living. When he tells me stories about work, two things happen: 1) I try desperately not to fall asleep (seriously, it’s purchasing) and 2) I flash to that scene from A Christmas Story, when Ralphie’s old man is bargaining with the Christmas tree salesman — “The old man loved bargaining as much as an Arab trader, and he was twice as shrewd!” That’s Jim. When I paid full price for a cheap, $10 handbag in the Bahamas, I thought he would divorce me on the spot. And once, a bubbly Jim who’d said okay to one too many cocktails at the hotel bar at the Holiday Inn still managed to utter the phrase “you can’t do any better than that?” to the late night check-in clerk, who I’m sure loved finding rooms for drunken holiday party-goers.
Anyway, in the ongoing installment of nature versus nurture, today’s lesson is bargaining, and here’s how Hank did:
Hank, through tears: I’m sooo sooo soooo sooo sorry.
Me: Well, you’re paying for new ones.
Hank: How much?
Me (taking three $5 bills from his wallet): $12.
Hank: Can I have the change?
Me: Because you kicked your shoe into the pond.
That’s what we get for moving into a house on the water, limited water as it is. Also, it appears nurture wins again.