I find myself lately being completely engrossed with pop culture. Now, I have no idea if the things I seem to like are actually COOL pieces of pop culture, or if they are just popular nonsense that get lots of airtime. For example, I know that there is nothing cool about, say, Paris Hilton. Or, for that matter, Perez Hilton (seriously, he not smart or witty, he’s just kind of an ass). I thought maybe I had struck cool gold when I discovered my love for Lady Gaga, but some say I have missed the mark. Of course, they are wrong, but I digress.
Jim and I can both fall victim to these bizarre pieces of pop culture. These things that come from nowhere, with no credibility, with no reason for becoming popular, in ways that simply make no sense. And we cannot take our eyes off of them.
Enter Khloe Kardashian.
Well, hey there Khloe! Good to see you and your obscenely tall frame and your non-Kardashian nose.
Until recently, Jim and I had no idea who the Kardashians were, or why anyone would want to keep up with them. They were simply fun fodder for The Soup. Then an awesome thing happened. We were watching an episode of The Soup, and when it ended, neither of us could find the remote. Rather than get up and walk across the room to change the TV, we succumbed to the next show airing on E! network. And that show was Kourtney and Khloe take Miami. Holy awesome awesomeness, it was so so so so bad. So bad it was good. So bad it hurt. It hurt so bad, and we loved it.
Here’s what I know about the Kardashians. Their father, the late Robert Kardashian, Sr., was one of OJ’s lawyers. They are rich. They are some type of socialites, like the currently un-cool Paris Hilton. They definately model, though I’m not sure they would be considered “models.” Their mother is named Kris, and she is married to Bruce Jenner, with whom she had two more daughters who she also gave “K” names to who are on the fast track for their own reality show, but their last name is Jenner so it has to be something cute and quippy with a “J” instead of a “K.” Like, Jihad with the Jenners, though I doubt that will fly. That’s all I know. I do not know why the Kardashians have a reality show, but I can say that about everybody with a reality show. So that’s not much.
Now, lots of people, if they were to choose a Kardashian, would choose Kim or Kourtney. I mean, Kim was famous first, for, as Joel McHale explains, having a big ass and a sex tape. And she is really pretty:
This is her Wikipedia picture, and dare I say it, she’s smouldering!
And then there is the incredibly tiny and adorable Kourtney Kardashian:
Of course, of the countless pictures of her, I chose one where she is wearing entirely too much eye makeup. But I think you get the picture. She is cute as a button. And pregnant! And not married! Oh, a reality show baby born out of wedlock and in the heart of sweeps. AWESOME!
But forget those girls. I chose the youngest daughter. The impossibly tall Khloe.
Look at that! She’ standing, like, a FOOT behind her sisters. Holy cow. I mean, I would not be surprised if she has a complex that makes her scream “GET IT YOURSELF” when someone asks her to reach up for something on a high shelf.
Now, I have not watched this show enough to know if Khloe has gotten less airtime than her sisters, or if she is the picked on one, or if she is less “celebrated” for her lack of a big ass and a sex tape or a pre-marital baby. But this weekend, they did a big show where she married Lamar Odom, an LA Laker who she had known for a month. And Jim and I could NOT TEAR OURSELVES AWAY FROM THE TV. The best part — they got married on Sept. 27… Jim’s birthday. IT. IS. A. SIGN!!!
WE LOVE KHLOE!
Do you think part of the reason she married him is because he is taller than her?
Meh, who cares. They’re in LOVE, and they have the awesome ratings to prove it!
Jim feels shame. I feel none. You are my new favorite socialite Khloe. And that is the coolest job ever.