So yes, my babies have daddies. One each. Hank has a biological father, George has a biological father, and they are not the same man. I am married to George’s father, and Hank calls George’s father, “Dad.” My husband has been “Dad” since Hank was 2, and for a few years, Hank’s biological father was not even around. He’s been back for quite some time, however, and things are actually going well, as far as the importance of Hank getting to know him.
This is how it is, and it’s a direct result of my own actions. But, as consequences go, this means that my oldest child goes with his “father” every other weekend.
Now, to be fair, I say “father” in “quotes” because I am not fond of the man. But Hank’s biological father is a TOOL. He’s not a serial killer, he’s not an abuser, he’s not a total deadbeat (anymore). I don’t necessarily fear for my son’s safety, ie, it’s not like he’s going to kidnap the kid and leave the country. He pays child support and does not complain about it, at least not to me. But he is a TOOL. A TOOL I TELL YOU! He makes poor decisions, such as, dragging out the end of the weekend with a long, weepy goodbye that starts at the end of the driveway and continues as The Tool drops the child off, drives around the corner, then gets OUT of his car and waves his arms frantically at the kid from between the neighbor’s houses. And on one hand, it’s good that my son and this man have a good bond. But on the other, how STUPID can someone be as to torture a 7-year-old boy by turning what should be a 2 minute “goodbye, see you on Wednesday” into an all-out sob fest? I mean come on. TOOL.
My lawyer gave me a great piece of advice (or more like a nugget of wisdom): “This is the consequence for having a child with someone to whom you are not or cannot be married.” She was right, and I am pretty much at peace with the fact that since Hank’s father and I were not compatable as a couple, we have to, for lack of a better way to put it, split the baby. And all I can do is try and make the rest of Hank’s life as normal as possible. And when you think about it, a good 50 percent of couples split. Hank’s life with two dads isn’t really a unique story these days.
Even so, every other weekend, The Tool comes and picks that little boy up and takes him away. I hate every other Saturday.